1000 years
by Bright Anarchy
Summary: CSD:Post X1999: I have always been aware of how my mortality might impact those around me.  Love is a beautiful dream. I have always wanted good things for Takamurasan.  CHPT 3: Involving a naked woman, a frantic unicorn fawn and distressed wife
1. Chapter 1

Warning: This is a concept fic. It will likely never complete itself because I haven't got a plot, just an idea about Nokoru in a certain role that I want to explore. I am more likely to finish other works first. … like Phoenix for which I have no inspiration…

Disclaimer: Clamp Campus detectives, X/1999 are property of Clamp. No profit is garnered from this work.

**The End**

In the time following the turn of the millennium Suoh and Akira watched the Rijichou carefully. He had driven himself so hard that the exhaustion was plain.

"Rijichou perhaps now that things have settled down we might go on holiday?" suggested Akira. "You've always said the paperwork could wait until tomorrow."

Akira and Suoh had both expected Nokoru to relax after the crisis had passed but he seemed to stay driven, reworking the Clamp systems to streamline them and make them less cumbersome and getting paperwork up to date.

"Umm…" replied Nokoru continuing stamp and read on one hand and updating the computer with the other.

"Imonoyama-sama you have neither been sleeping well nor properly eating, you've been working non-stop for months. Your good friend Akira-kun is speaking to you. Please pay attention." Souh prompted gently, physically stopping the stamping. Suoh was worried.

"Sorry?" Nokoru looked up disoriented and exhausted.

Akira clenched his fist determined and then spoke again. "Utako and Nagisa are feeling neglected and wish for us all to go on vacation together." If Nokoru would not rest even for the sake of a woman's happiness, there was no hope. This terrible schedule had continued months past its expected end.

They did manage to coax him from work. He approached the holiday with a joy and levity that set both his friends at ease. It was like old times. They went to a mountain cabin complete with hot springs, waterfalls and majestic vegetation.

Akira and Souh concentrating on helping the ladies with their footing on the hike to the cabin did not notice how Nokoru struggled. He was pale, sweating, out of breath and shaking when they reached the cabin. Souh was quite alarmed when he went to help Nokoru get his pack off.

Akira ran off to get the Rijichou a cool drink and both girls fanned him and moved baggage out of the way to give him a place to sit.

Nokoru fought to put on a brave cheerful face but his cleverly written "Perfectly okay" displayed on a white and tasseled fan fluttered to the ground as he passed out in a dead faint in Suoh's arm's.

Souh had carried his 'One' to a bed and stood over him now very sternly.

"You've over exerted yourself!" Utako scolded soundly as Akira poured Nokoru lemonade when he woke.

Nagisa laid a cool cloth over Nokoru's head.

Akira practicing the doctoring skills he was learning at school checked Imonoyama-sama carefully. "I think, I think it's exhaustion not just from the hike but from the effort of these past months and Sir, you need food. We can all see that you've lost weight recently. I'll make some soup. Rijichou please rest."

He did rest. He rested flamboyantly with fanciful drinks; sweet praise for the ladies and visits from small friendly adoring animals. They celebrated his 21st birthday on that vacation.

Suoh couldn't convince himself not to worry.

…going for a walk in a misty woods with Nokoru-sama. In a moonlight mist, a unicorn approaches his 'One' nuzzles Nokoru-sama gently on the cheek and then bounds off into the woods. Nokoru turns to him and with a sad look and whispers, "I'm dying Souh."

A strange surreal conversation in which Nokoru claims to be a Unicorn trapped in the mortality of a human. "I'm going to die but my mother's magic will let me begin again in my true form. The gestation period is 1229 days. Father died before I was born. He was to be the one to help with the ending of the millennium and I was to help guide the new millennium but it didn't work out that way."

"She is hunted fiercely and would like to know if you would hide me while I'm still a foal. She wants you to be my foster father. I don't want to be parted from you Suoh. Please say yes. I won't remember everything, but I'll always remember my fondness for you."

Suoh nodding dumbly and agreeing, "Nokoru is Nokoru and he will always be my One."

Then waking sweat soaked in his bunk back at the cabin and looking over to see Nokoru fast asleep tangled in blankets making little distressed noises and struggling a little to free himself while still asleep.

Suoh slipped from bed soundlessly and gently untangled Nokoru from the blanket and tucked him in. Nokoru didn't wake but instead relaxed into a deeper sleep, slept till noon the next day and woke cheerful and in a mood for mischief.

The terrible schedule had been banished for good. Suoh felt better until he found Nokoru discretely grooming a niece to succeed him as Rijichou several months later. Then began the doctors and the hospitals. Suoh fought as he had never fought before. He slaughtered bureaucracy to expedite tests and acquire specialists. He pushed his One with determined stubbornness that he might to co-operate with the doctors. Suoh had always been the only one able to make Nokoru do those things he didn't want to do.

Akira's engagement to Utako was put on hold as they fought for Nokoru's life. Nokoru was displeased with Akira and Utako for delaying things on his behalf. A wedding was fun, distracting and love was ever so much more important than something dreary like being sick. Utako scolded him that she and Akira would always be in love and that he'd just have to put up with their care for now because they needed to help him for their own sake.

"He is dying mother," Suoh finally admitted to his mother. "The doctors have a different diagnosis every time they do tests. His heart has been affected but so have his kidneys and a thousand other small symptoms and signs that come and go. They don't think he would survive the heart surgery unless they could find and treat the underlying condition first but the his heart won't last long and he will die without the surgery."

Takamura's protected their one in every way they could. "Terminal illness is not ninjable Suoh," Nokoru tried to console. Suoh was not amused but he both admired and was infuriated by Nokoru-sama's persistent cheerful light-hearted demeanor.

Nokoru had always noticed that the only time a visit to the Takamura house was not a life or death obstacle course for Suoh to maneuver him through, was when he was already under grave threat. Then it seemed the Takamura's closed ranks about him or another Takamura's 'One' as happened from time to time.

Nokoru came to tea at the Takamura's once a week. By the time Suoh had spoken to his mother, Nokoru needed a lot of help to walk but politely refused to admit a wheelchair would be easier. There were no traps, darts, poisoned foods or surprise attack ninjas. Suoh might not have noticed how all of that had gradually slowed as he became sick but after Suoh spoke to his mother the difference startling. Now there was a steadying hand when he stumbled, carefully chosen healthful foods, mild teas and the clan walked overly loud as if to avoid startling him. Before, the arrival of a Takamura in the room was always a surprise. Nokoru noticed all these things but politely ignored them after all it did not mean Suoh had given up on him, only that he thought the situation was serious.

"Hahaue, wishes to speak with you."

Suoh's mother spoke with Nokoru about the Takamura bond, her son and what could be done to help Suoh cope. That and the long list of Takamura's who had committed suicide or had to be committed after the death of there One.

"You must fight for life." Suoh's mother for all she seemed cold cared for her son. "Euthanasia is a path that is dishonorable for him."

'Seppuku,' thought Nokoru grimly, 'death before dishonor, ritual suicide... not if I have anything to say it about it!' his eyes challenged fiercely.

"Your encouragement of him in his relationship with Miss Azuya, is it your intent she supplant you because of this illness?" she asked calmly.

"I have always been aware of how my mortality might impact those around me. Love is a beautiful dream. I have always wanted good things for Takamura-san. I hope Suoh has many people who he can draw strength and support from. I want that for him. Please be there for him as well," Nokoru spoke passionately.

Suoh's mother the head of the clan bowed respectfully in agreement and the discussion ended there.

Nokoru died quietly in his sleep less than a week later.

Suoh woke from in the darkness sobbing inconsolably without even being told of his passing. Hahaue sat with him that night and rocked him in her arms.

"He'll come back. He promised me he'd come back. I have to marry Nagisa-jo and have children and be happy and he'll come back. It's magic," Suoh stammered.

'Was this the best he could do for my son?' she wondered. 'How will these fairy tales hold up when he calms down?' she worried.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Clamp Campus detectives, X/1999 are property of Clamp. No profit is garnered from this work.

Please Review. It makes me happy. Although reviewers telling me I have spelled colour wrong will be "Thwapped with a Canadian Flag!" ...but I'll still be happy so review anyway; even if it's just to tell me I've spelled colour WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!!!

**The Beginning**

Suoh married Nagisa in the spring. Nine months to the day after the wedding Nagisa gave birth to a son. Suoh seemed happy but he almost never spoke of Nokoru except for with Akira who liked… needed to reminisce. His hobby with horses grew somewhat obsessive, as did a new passion for research into western folk history.

Nagisa had been warned by her new mother-in-law not to question the fairy tales but to accept that he would probably need them for many years.

"He is waiting for Nokoru to come back. I spoke with Nokoru-sama shortly before his death. I think he believed that as long as Suoh had something to get him past the initial shock, that eventually everything would be okay. How has he been?" The head of the Takamura clan asked.

Nagisa smiled as she answered. "He has been very gentle, patient and attentive. He is lonely even though I am there for him, but he seems to have purpose in his life. Nokoru-sama wanted him to make sure that Clamp Campus was a sanctuary and he takes his duties as head of security very seriously. I do often get the feeling that he is waiting for something to happen."

"How is he with Yosuke?"

"He treasures him."

Two years later Nagisa bore twins, a girl and a boy. The children were natural born but an infection due to complications in the labor meant Nagisa would have no more children.

The twin's were two when it all began.

Suoh walked Clamp's forests before dawn on every moonless night. He had started this practice exactly 1229 days after Nokoru's death. Suoh liked order. He liked knowing what to expect. Everything he had read about reincarnation indicated it would probably take a little while so he tried to be patient.

Was Suoh obsessing because of one worry induced dream that was pure fantasy? To Suoh it didn't matter. If all he had left of Nokoru was a harmless mad fantasy he would serve that harmless mad fantasy even if he didn't believe it. Did he believe it? It didn't matter. He wasn't hurting anyone. The unicorn was his Santa Clause. It made him happy to believe that he might believe and to indulge himself.

Then, on a moonless night in May, heavy with foal, there was the unicorn. She led him to a secluded grove. She made no sound but Suoh heard her.

_If you are to hide him you must be a father to him._

"I would be honored"

You misunderstand mortal. Will your wife accept another child? 

"We've never talked about adoption."

_If the child were hers?_ Images flitted through Suoh. The infant unicorn entered him as nothing more than a spark of light or power. He saw himself Nagisa in an act of intimacy, followed rapidly by flashes of her progressively full with child, then birthing. All this flashed through Suoh's mind.

"Like a surrogate mother," asked Suoh?

_A little but his human form would truly be of her blood and yours. He will need to take his immortal form regularly or he will die._

Suoh was an honorable man. "She must be properly asked. I would not be honoring her as a wife to do something like this without her full understanding and consent. As well she will be a mother to him and this she cannot do if she will never know half of her son's life."

The unicorn approved and it was clear at once that the question had been a test of morals. Suoh later wondered if he had failed, if he would have been remorselessly run through before the unicorn galloped off to find a more worthy protector for her son but he was not immediately aware of how merciless she could be.

Suoh woke at home, initially foggy with the feel of having been dreaming but after a moment or two he felt very alert actually he felt good. He was not sure how he'd gotten home nor did he really care. He made love to his wife in the early morning light feeling playful, energetic and unaccountably joyful. A feeling of anticipation had his every nerve tingling.

Nagisa settled back to sleep sedate with pleasure. Now relaxed, Suoh looked at her puzzled. Something was different. He smoothed and touched her abdomen then suddenly suspicious, massaged deeper. Her only reaction was a sleepy encouragement not to stop. There… He could feel the soft ball of her uterus just above her pelvic bone as if she was some three months pregnant. Her breasts seemed fuller. Rubbing her nipples between his thumb and forefinger a drop of milk wept out.

Suoh didn't know what to think but he felt betrayed. He had specifically asked to speak with his wife first. She was barren. If she was with child and so suddenly so far a long, there was only one explanation though none of it made any sense. Had the unicorn birthed her foal and transferred it into his wife for a mortal birth to mirror it's immortal one? Nokoru had always insisted Nagisa's needs come first. He wouldn't have wanted her to be used. It was different if she volunteered. This was not right. The more he thought about it the more indignant he became.

_Peace Guardian, she sleeps and my realm is dreams. In her dreams the touch of my horn gave her a child and she was pleased to know motherhood again thus the dream transpires. This is enough. I say it so._

"If she had not been pleased?" Suoh demanded angrily of the air, though at this point there didn't seem to be anything to be done about it.

_I grant dreams child, I force them upon no one!_

The force of her anger was terrible Suoh's vision went black for a moment and he almost passed out. His heart was racing and he felt cold through to the core. The unicorn was not some tame beast despite its beautiful and gentle appearance.

He stared at Nagisa-chan wondering what to say to her then slowly realized it was probably better for her to figure at least some of the magic out for herself before speaking with her about it. He knew what everyone thought of his research into western myth. He was treated too gently when he spoke of any of it for him not to know.

They had not used protection since she had been declared barren. He doubted some how that she would immediately assume magic. He frowned still half not believing it himself.

Three months pregnant he thought. As far along as she could get without it being unreasonable to believe she might possibly have been pregnant all along and not have noticed. She didn't quite show the pregnancy but it would be undeniable shortly.

He climbed out of bed and looked through the medicine cabinet. There was a pregnancy test left over from her pregnancy with the twins. He left it strategically in front of the mouthwash.

The changes in her body were subtle but after a dream of conceiving he hoped she would notice them. He didn't want to have to suggest to her that she might be pregnant. Nagisa was a performer she was sensitive about… eh, actually no woman would likely take that well. "Hey honey! Take a preggo test you're looking porky and you're acting all hormonal." No matter how he phrased it, that was what she'd hear.

He phoned Akira and Utako asking them to baby-sit for a few hours so that he and Nagisa could have some couple time.

Suoh woke the children making a big deal of them being quiet and surprising Mommy so she would know to stay 'sleeping' then brought her breakfast in bed with the children's help; omelet with onion and ham, a little wasabi on the side, juice and oolong tea.

Nagisa could never stand oolong tea or wasabi when she was pregnant and she always used mouthwash after eating omelet with onion. Suoh smiled pleased with his discretion.

He watched her eat breakfast. The children sat with her on the bed telling her all about the fun things they planned to do with Uncle Akira and Aunt Utako.

Suoh saw the children off with Akira and puttered in the kitchen giving Nagisa a chance to finish breakfast and think. He heard the shower going and he puttered some more cleaning up toys and vacuuming, then sitting down to read the paper. He heard hear brush her teeth. Heard her gargling. The test said three minutes. He was starting to wonder if she would even think to take it. He wandered over and there she was standing with test in hand staring at it.

"I'm pregnant!'

Suoh smiled. "Are you sure? The doctor said we couldn't..." he began gently. He felt a little like Nokoru-sama, the manipulative little weasel that he'd been.

"No the test says I'm pregnant, feel, feel here!" she was ecstatic.

"Did you ever get your cycle back after the twins?"

"No…" she ran to get her pregnancy books.

Ultrasound confirmed it. The doctor's estimated she was at 15 weeks by the time the Ultrasound was scheduled nearly three weeks later. By then the pregnancy was obvious.

Nagisa breezed through the pregnancy with no symptoms at all, other than a few food aversions, a tendency to pee more frequently and the perfect round little tummy almost no one really has. It was not a normal pregnancy. It was too perfect.

With 10 weeks to go she had gained 16 pounds, was still very mobile and felt great. She went into labor while they were on a picnic in the park. There was only a little minor discomfort. She thought the baby was just squirming, getting comfortable. She thought she had a little diarrhea. She thought it was the standard pregnancy stuff most of which she'd been fortunate enough to avoid so far this time around. She didn't want to ruin the picnic so she made due.

All of a sudden she had the urge to push at which point it was too late to drive to the hospital. When Suoh tried to lift her to the car, (which she adamantly objected to for her body was telling her NOW) her water broke and she could literally feel the baby slip down a little. Suoh called an ambulance instead.

Yosuke, Chizu and Makoto, the children looked terrified. Haha(mommy) was scared and something was happening to her. She was making scary grunting and moaning sounds, and holding her tummy. She kept yelling at Chichi(daddy).

Chizu held her mother's hand distressed.

"Chichi why is there blood on Haha's dress?" Yosuke the eldest, asked timidly.

Suoh spoke firmly and calmly, "Yosuke, Chizu and Makoto listen to me. Haha is having the baby. A little blood is nothing to worry about. It is normal."

Makoto who had always had a vivid imagination asked, "Is he cutting his way out of her tummy with shuriken?" He sounded quiet alarmed.

"No," Suoh couldn't think what to say. It had never been his intent to have to explain childbirth to a four year old and two three year olds in this depth.

Nagisa answered, "Love there's a way for him to get out between my legs without cutting but it's a tiny little hole that has to stretch really wide. Haha's body made a safe house for the baby inside her tummy to protect him. When he's born the house isn't needed anymore so it pulls away from inside me and comes out and, and like a scab coming off there, there's a little blood. Ooooh,.." She wasn't really sure why there was blood yet but she felt she had to tell the children something.

"Does it hurt?" demanded Yosuke.

"Yes," answered Suoh. "Like stretching too hard when you exercise but Haha will be all right." Suoh maneuvered himself between Nagisa's legs to check on her progress. Three little heads pushed near to see too.

Nagisa gave a resigned grunt, panting. She felt out of control. There was little pain but the pressure was unbearable. This was happening whether the children were watching or not.

"The head is right there love. Don't push," remembering his emergency training, ever so gently, Suoh held the head back.

"Haha has a poo poo," observed Chizu.

"Chizu-chan please get some wipes from the bag to help clean Haha up," suggested Suoh. "Yosuke go to the edge of the park and wait for the ambulance then show them where we are. Stay where I can see you. Makoto pack up the picnic so we'll be ready to go."

"I need to push"

"Don't push"

"I don't understand," Makoto piled up the picnic stuff in a heap. He couldn't stop staring and putting things away in containers was quite beyond him.

Chizu was pulling wipe after wipe out of the packet and cleaning Mommy up despite being told "SWEETY STOP" repeatedly with increasing forcefulness by both parents.

"Like pushing out poo poo only pushing out a baby," Suoh answered looking up for a moment to check on Yosuke who promptly came trotting back to say the ambulance wasn't there. "Nagisa don't push!"

Despite the screamed, "I'M NOT PUSHING!" the tiny infant slipped out.

"EVERYONE, OVER THERE AND QUIET!" Suoh shouted.

Chichi raised his voice. Chichi never shouted before. Three terrified children sat on the pile of picnic things silent. Nagisa started crying. Makoto started wailing.

Suoh ignored them for the tiny infant wasn't breathing yet. He cleared it's air way, rubbed it's back then gave a few tiny puffs of air. With a hiccup and a gurgled burp it was breathing with difficulty. He passed the baby to Nagisa and touched the cord. It was still pulsing.

Nagisa struggled to nurse the tiny infant. It was too small to latch onto a breast but would gum at drops of expressed milk. Nagisa wouldn't stop crying. She was shaking uncontrollably. Now both twins were crying.

I think I was supposed to keep the infant low until the cord stopped pulsing thought Suoh but he couldn't bring himself to try and take the baby away from his wife. He bundled Yosuke's spare sweater around the baby.

"Yosuke, Chizu and Makoto listen to me. I'm not mad at you. The baby is too little and he is having trouble breathing so Chichi has to help."

Yosuko spoke solemnly "Is he going to die?"

"No! He's a Takamura. He will live. He will remain with us." The name NOKORU resonated around Suoh's head like church bells. Nokoru to remain, to remain, Nokoru… but he died and Suoh would not use the same name! Not now! Not with the tiny infant hanging between life and death!

"Little one your name is Amaru Takamura. That's your job, to stay with us, alright?" Suoh looked at Nagisa. They'd not even talked about names yet. They had thought they had plenty of time.

Suoh's thoughts were too loud, too clear; his heart beat too strong. The bond broken at Nokoru's death and hinted at when Nagisa first conceived blazed into full strength with Amaru's birth and wound around him like spider silk. Suoh desperate for it's want pulled it in.

Suoh thoughts would not quiet! 'Amaru: to be beyond one's power, to leave over, more than, the remainder, to remain…

The spirit giving life to this tiny child was all that remained of Nokoru, life and death was beyond it's control, this return was more than could have been expected or hoped for, to remain… please!'

Nagisa smiled at Suoh through her tears. She recognized the obvious similarity between the names Amaru and Nokoru. "We could have called him Nokoru I wouldn't mind but Amaru is a good name."

Amaru's hand and feet were blue and he gulped and gasped at air irregularly. He was still trying to suckle sleepily. Suoh rubbed Amaru's back trying to keep him awake and more likely to breath. The cord was still pulsing sluggishly Suoh wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

The sound of sirens was very welcome.

"Hello Ototo-san Amaru," Yosuko spoke bowing to his little brother.

Chizu and Makoto quickly copied and bowed in unison.

After the ambulance took Nagisa and Amaru away. Suoh cleaned up the picnic and packed everyone up in the car driving to the hospital. He didn't immediately think to phone anyone. He watched the children in their car seats in the back and realized that a there was no room in the current car for a sixth passenger. The birth had seemed so far away. He concentrated on the other things they might need. They had no baby cloths so small. Amaru was so tiny he could fit in one hand. He was two and a half months premature. He has to live thought Suoh clenching the wheel.

Amaru was born weighing 1 lb 11 oz. Suoh did his best to explained to the children about all of the tubes, the machines and the incubator in the neonatal unit. They were only allowed to look in through the window.

Nagisa was still being checked out.

Three anxious children in a hospital waiting room isn't much fun.

Once Suoh was allowed to bring the children to see their mother, Nagisa had the good sense to call for help. Her mother was soon on the way.

In the quiet in the hospital once the other children were off to their grandmother's and Nagisa slept, Suoh had a chance to truly think. He was clearer headed then he'd been since Nokoru died. Something in him, some resolve that had broken was mended. He had very much spent four years doing what he was told. It had been what he wanted but it had also been what he was told to do. 'How can this work? I am bonded to my own son. A Takamura serves his bonded first in all things. I don't want to play favorites with my own children. I don't want my own child bossing me around.'

The memory of a dream echoed through his thoughts "I don't want to be parted from you Suoh... I won't remember everything, but I'll always remember my fondness for you."

'His unicorn mother is the bossy one. Nokoru never made me do anything. When he wanted or needed something he asked as a friend would ask and I'm a Takamura. We choose who we serve not whom we are enslaved to." He thought snorting a little at his own foolish thoughts. 'I am my own master.'

'What father wouldn't die for any of his children? What does the bond really ask of me that I wouldn't willingly give any of my children? I think the biggest difference is a father must eventually step-by-step back and let his children grow even though it may means they will be hurt from time to time. When he's ready for independence what happens then. He will need protection all his life. He unicorn mother made that clear.'

A nurse stopped by Suoh and smile gently. "Such a worried face I can see you are a new father," she spoke with a smile.

Suoh tugged his sleeve down over the hospital bracelet he had to wear if he wanted to be allowed in to see his new son.

"Take one day at a time and you'll do fine. No one's ever really ready for parenthood. No matter what you plan, they'll surprise you. One day at a time." She patted his hand.

Suoh had always felt uncomfortable with touchy feely forward people but the advice was relevant. He nodded politely and stood awkwardly. As an excuse to avoid the nurse he went to check on Amaru.

Amaru had been really very lucky. The placenta had kept functioning a good fifteen minutes after his birth while his lungs figured out they were supposed to be doing something. Baby life support, the doctor had called it. The cord stopped pulsing in the ambulance on the way to the hospital but by then the ambulance technicians had him on oxygen. Nagisa was told she'd birthed the placenta shortly after, while still in the ambulance. She didn't honestly remember it.

Will steroids work on him to mature his lungs the same way they would for a normal baby wondered Suoh. I thought he was supposed to be immortal?

Suoh went home that night to sleep in his own bed for at least a few hours. The children were still at the grand parents. There had been quite a few medical scares but Suoh was so exhausted. He knew that in order to be there for his family he needed to get what sleep he could. He went to the barn to feed his horse and was greeted by the Unicorn.

"So you know," commented Suoh.

_I need to see him. He needs milk. He needs to assume his true form._

"He's in the hospital in the NICU. If he's disconnected from those machines he'll die."

_He is not strictly human. Without my milk, he will die._

Her cold eyes stared at him.

"There is a way." He offered uncomfortably.

_I am an intelligent creature. I know what is necessary._

She stood still and waited. Suoh approached wary. In a way, the concept of sneaking contra-ban into the hospital and replacing Nagisa's expressed breast milk with the unicorn's was less disconcerting than this part.

The unicorn's eyes were too intelligent. She watched Suoh as he reached under…

Watching Suoh meant her horn was pointed right at Suoh. She jumped a little at first but bore it stoically. Allowing a human to milk her must be mortifying thought Suoh.

As soon as it is safe to disconnect him from the mechanical womb, he must be brought to me so that he can assume his true form. If it waits too long it will be like before.

Suoh did not need the reminder of Nokoru's death. It had haunted him all day. He finished without another word and trudged back to the hospital.

Amaru was being fed by feeding tube. Suoh zombie tired, watched to make sure his son was given the correct milk. Almost immediately Amaru's breathing and colour improved. Suoh sighed and decided too see if there was a milking machine for horses.

Sleep, thought Suoh, optional but highly recommended. He looked at the time. There was no point trying to do anything further tonight. Milking machine suppliers likely did not accept after midnight business.


	3. Chapter 3

First days

Sneaking a unicorn into the hospital was less problematic that one might think. As Amaru had a human form so too did his immortal mother. Being head of security meant that Suoh had access to the security codes in the hospital.

Suoh bought scrubs for the unicorn and manufactured an appropriate security badge and brought them to her. She seemed genuinely surprised when Suoh freaked out when she casually changed forms in front of him. She stood in his horse barn naked but seeming completely oblivious to the entire concept of modesty and watched him as he fled and turned the most interesting shade of crimson.

She picked up the scrubs and wandered after him curiously.

_Guardian?_

"Put the cloths on please."

_There is no one here. Changing forms while confined is not possible. The cloths make me vulnerable._

"Surely you know enough about humans to know that it is inappropriate to be unclothed in company," suggested Suoh.

_Will my son be required to wear cloths all the time? _She huffed annoyed.

Iyujin-san chose that moment to visit. Akira was unusually light on his feet. Unless he was whistling happily as he often did, no one ever hear him approach.

Iyujin saw a naked woman and stopped stock still staring astonished.

When the lady unicorn saw Akira she bolted. In seconds she had disappeared into the woods nearby. The sound of hoof prints echoed the moment she was out of sight.

"Hello," spoke Suoh looking up at last. He had a pained expression on his face and the crimson would not leave his cheeks.

"Hi?" Akira spoke turning his own shade of red and pointing questioningly at the woods.

Put on the spot Suoh had no idea of what to say so he said nothing shrugging a little.

"You? She?" Akira sputtered.

"NO," snapped Suoh annoyed. Suoh was loyal to the core. Akira took his word for it. "She just and… Oh good grief! I don't really want to be here when she comes back for her cloths."

"She seemed very frightened. Did, did I hear a horse."

Suoh muttered, "I think I caught her in the act of trying to pull a Godiva."

Akira nodded with his eyes still wide. He had no idea what a Godiva was but it was probably better not to know.

"It's a good thing one of the children didn't come out," suggested Akira.

Suoh snuck the unicorn into the neonatal unit after hours. There was a privacy screen provided for breastfeeding. As soon as Amaru could safely be disconnected from life support even for a few moments Suoh arranged the first visit. Behind the curtain a clatter of hooves soon echoed through the quiet hospital. Souh peeked behind the curtain.

It was unusual to actually see Amaru as a fawn. His horn had not yet grown out but he stood steady on four hooves desperately nursing as if starved. He kept rubbing and itching his head against his mother's side.

When he was no longer frantic for food, he came to investigate Suoh. Suoh rubbed the itchy spot where his horn would soon grow out.

A slight noise, a hiccup in the respirator of one of the other infants and the mother changed back in a flash. She scrambled with the cloths. Amaru was again in his helpless human form lying on the floor looking confused and distressed. Suoh picked him up. Though obviously frightened by the sudden change Amaru did not cry.

Suoh tucked Amaru back into a diaper and got him set up back in the incubator.

His unicorn mother looked broken hearted to have to leave so soon but she slipped out of the neonatal room and waited outside.

"He didn't cry," commented Suoh as they left the hospital.

_Is it so hard to remember that he is not entirely mortal? _

"Will he speak into my mind the way you do?" Suoh asked softly.

_It is likely that some of his immortal heritage will be lost._

"I have never heard you make a sound."

_I have never so often spoken to humans that their methods of speech should become a requirement. I am very old human. When I was still new, the wild places offered sanctuary, as they no longer do. I am too old now to adapt to the man world entirely._

_You are not like others of your kind. Few can hear me at all._

Once Amaru was able to spend at least a few stolen moments from time to time in his true form in addition to his 'other milk' as Suoh came to think of it, he quickly grew strong.

The doctors and nurses were surprised he was ready to be released a short month after his birth. He was still tiny. Weighing only three pounds but now putting on weight steadily Nagisa brought him home.

It had been a very rough month for her. Suoh was sometimes nowhere to be found. Every morning she would pack up everything and go to the hospital nursing Amaru and learning how to care for a premature infant. She couldn't bring Amaru with her while caring for her other three children and she couldn't leave them alone to care for Amaru.

She felt like she was being a horrible mother to someone no matter what she did.

It was hard not to feel cheated of opportunity to bond with her baby. She couldn't even hold him at first. There was a continual roller coaster of scares for the first little while. The doctor's refused to let her get her hopes up by telling her that Amaru would be okay.

It gets rather tiring hearing a long litany of likely life long potential problems.

She was getting next to no sleep for even though she returned home every night having to leave Amaru behind, which was hard enough, her milk production was not developing properly so she had to wake every two hours to pump milk.

The doctors wanted her to give up on breastfeeding at one point and try different kinds of formula due to the difficulties she'd had. They were concerned Amaru wouldn't get enough milk to thrive. Nagisa though soft spoken had been rather fierce about doing what was best for Amaru regardless of personal hardship. She stuck with it while Amaru chewed, chomped and mangled learning how to suck properly.

It was just as well. Amaru reacted horribly to formula.

Suoh would sometimes watch her fighting to nurse, tears of frustration and pain running down her face. He would look so forlorn but whisper gently what a wonderful mother she was.

Suoh didn't like keeping secrets but he knew that Nagisa had enough else to deal with. She didn't need him implying that the child she'd given birth to wasn't hers. She didn't need to be questioning his sanity. He also knew that no matter what happened he was going to be in big trouble when everything unraveled and that the longer it waited the more complicated things would get.

Shortly after Amaru came home. Suoh took an afternoon off work and brought Nagisa and Amaru on a walk and picnic in the woods. The other children were at daycare and school.

"There is something I need you to know, " spoke Suoh undressing Amaru under the pretext of checking his diaper. "Tummy time," Suoh spoke to Amaru laying him on a blanket, naked and squirming on his tummy.

"He'll get cold out here," protested Nagisa reaching for Amaru then all at once grabbing him to her protectively.

Suoh looked up to see the mother unicorn.

In the blink of an eye Nagisa was holding a squirming unicorn fawn.

Suoh smiled. Amaru had the beginnings of a golden horn sprouting for the first time.

Suoh saw the look on Nagisa's face and his smile disappeared.

Nagisa looked terrified.

Amaru had scampered happily halfway to his unicorn mother when he seemed to sense Nagisa's distress.

He bounded back and nuzzled Nagisa with his nose cheerfully and when she didn't immediately respond looked to Suoh and his unicorn mother for reassurance and help.

Nagisa was shaking with fear.

Amaru bleated pleadingly.

Suoh personally wanted to throttle Amaru's unicorn mother for she'd not given him even a moment to explain but he focused on Nagisa, "Love he doesn't understand why his Mommy is afraid of him. He doesn't understand that it might be unusual to have two Mommy's. He's half magic but he's still our son. Love it's all right. See, he loves you. He needs you. Here scratch his forehead right by his horn. It gets itchy."

The mother unicorn stayed distant and silent. She stayed until Nagisa threw her arms around the tiny fawn and wept and then the mother unicorn left as silently as she had appeared. A short time later the fawn was a human babe again.

Amaru cried and cried and so did Nagisa.

"Did you dream she gave you a baby?" Suoh asked very gently.

Nagisa nodded clutching Amaru to her. When Amaru began to frantically try to latch, wailing at the top of his lungs, Nagisa opened her top and let him nurse. Her tears dripped down and wet his face. He wasn't hungry. He'd just eaten. He was nursing for comfort.

"He is ours. He just has a spark of magic added," Suoh explained trying to calm Nagisa. "There are a lot of fairy tales about children that are a wish come true…"

"I, … I think that it was a way for beings of magic to continue in this logic driven age. The wish for a child is a wish for magic. The fair tale creature bridges that little gap between the want for a child and the inability to have one. Amaru is so very little. He's not strong. That little bit of magic makes him strong enough: strong enough to be conceived when doctors think it should be impossible, strong enough to be born and to live. As only a unicorn he couldn't survive in the world. As only our child he couldn't be born. Is it so terrible to share him if, if that mean he gets to be?"

Nagisa seemed to be calming. "Is he really Nokoru-sama then?" she asked quietly.

Suoh sighed. It was a question he didn't want to answer. "Love, I think Nokoru-sama was like Amaru, a child who would not have been born. The more I have thought about it, the more I have come to realize certain things. Nokoru-sama died. The person who was uniquely him will never be again. He was my first friend, a brother of my heart and I will never… Nokoru-sama will never…" Suoh could not continue.

Nagisa finished for him. "Amaru-chan has his spark."

Suoh nodded.

"I always thought that at least Nokoru-sama would wait for you in heaven. How can he if he's in little pieces?" Nagisa sobbed.

Suoh said nothing.

"It's not fair!" Nagisa cried.

"I think I might be alright with the idea that he's not moping about dead but unchanged and waiting for me. I don't think it's as simple as being in little pieces," Suoh whispered.

Nagisa looked up at Suoh who had had a lot more time to think of these things.

"Our children start out as part of us but they bring us joy even when they start to be persons apart from us. A drop of water may be a river, a sip, a raindrop, an ocean, mist, ice…" Suoh was trembling as he spoke.

"Each drop of water isn't unique," protested Nagisa.

"Do we really need to have all the answers? I think you'd better unlatch him or he'll spit up, " Suoh gently took Amaru into his arms encouraged a burp then cuddled him though Amaru continued to cry. "Shh. Shh…"

(Godiva: Famous historical figure that rode a horse clothed only in her hair to protest unfair taxation. Also the subject of the Engineer's drinking song. Godiva's ride is from time to time illicitly re-enacted by over enthusiastic engineering students.)


End file.
